Dennis K. Kazungu
David Wood’s intelligence wouldn’t have manifested itself in a better way than when he discovered that, “College is the best time of your life.” When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night.” Kenyan University students live to such expectations and haven’t let David Wood down even a single drop. ‘COMRADES’, a name they have embraced and branded themselves with, aids them in coming up with the mother of all mad quotes that ‘a comrade is always right’ and ‘a comrade is never wrong’. The quotes simply imply that it is none of your damn business as a neutral observer to question the sanity of their deeds. A much crazier species will tell you that you don’t have even a single clue of where their fees come from let alone their entertainment money.
The first years of these institution alias ‘freshers’ spend quite a good chunk of their days and nights trying to ‘belong’. Diversity in the places they come from whether from a village that nobody is sure of the definition of the word university or to the ones who come from our lawmakers’ homes makes it compulsory for them to adjust to the new environment. This period of adjustment doesn’t expose them fully to the ‘fun’ in our campus. The second year leads the commencement of everything that is good and bad in campus. It is at this period that students’ really belong to the cultures of the university. At this time, ladies will tell you the latest dressing trends in town that is seductive and translucent whereas the male comrades will tell you the best body shapes and how to distinguish them. The ladies will comprehensively tell you the best lit rooms in the male students’ hostels. Their male counterparts will categorically tell you which lass sleeps on which bed in which room.
When it comes to having ‘fun’, partying is an understatement. These comrades who can’t recall which lecture came last on Friday and which one comes first on Monday, will always know which drinking parlour brews the sweetest liquor. They will be aware when there are free drinks at every pub yet they can’t recall when their assignment are due. Their rate of smoking can comfortably beat a diesel powered generator to a competition. The toxics they inhale and exhale leave them emitting hazardous fumes than those emitted by unroadworthy vehicles. It will come as no surprise if NEEMA decides to name them as part of the escalating environmental degradation. Their busy lifestyle makes them celebrate the night after examination results are out, not because they scored As but because they narrowly escaped resits.
Describing the average life of a comrade in a one page article is hard bearing in mind we have our ‘religious’ brethren who are not that holy, but that is a story of another day.