Do not follow your ‘potential lover’ online

You just met him/her in the streets, at the bar, at the park or any other place the Lord has set to be in your the-first-time-I-saw-you stories. You exchanged numbers and now you have been talking for a minute and you manage to find out their full names. Darling do not allow the devil to tempt you into looking up their name on social media, but let’s say you are do not follow them and I repeat just DON’T. This is why:

Instead of waiting for a call you will be waiting for a follow back on Instagram or worst a friend request on Facebook. This will suck your energy, all of it, your esteem will be played with as you will keep checking if your posts are date worthy or if your photos look good enough. Honey take it slow, you already exchanged numbers don’t freak each other out too soon.

Sometimes or most of the times after following them you won’t stop there, you end up stalking them till you find out who their high school biology teacher’s name was or worse you start doubting your ‘almost boyfriend’ by over analyzing their photos. Who is she? Why is he holding her like that? Is she his sister? That’s Malindi, I thought he said his sister lived in Nakuru? Before even going for the first date you are already doubting him and having all the wrong adjectives to describe him. If that’s not bad enough you go on the first date already knowing his best quotes, dream place to visit and his favorite meal I mean what will y’all even be talking about when you already know so much about each other?

Lastly you don’t wanna plan your future, give up evening classes or some part-time hobby to struggle being with someone based on how stable he/she looks via the digital powers. Photoshop and filters exist dear.

 

Learn to know people at their own time and pace and let them know you at yours too.

 

                                       “ I don’t wanna be your friend on Facebook

                              in case it doesn’t work out I never wanna see you again

                                               especially not on my timeline.”

  

                         Love

                                     -Lopode

 

 

 

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FIRST EXPERIENCE ON ONLINE DATING

Every friend I had was on the online scene looking for love and I was tempted to indulge myself in there too. On play store, I typed dating, many applications came up but on checking most of their reviews I couldn’t download them until I found Tinder – Find friends, dates, relationships and everything in between. The first review read “tinder is fun and easy to use. I’ve matched and talked to several nice girls on here…” that drew me in and the next Second I found myself installing the application.

“This will be fun” I told myself.

It wasn’t so hard since it only required a Facebook account for one to sign up. I created one and few minutes later I was uploading photos being choosy considering in that world people will first judge you by your photos, then words before they meet you if ever that happens.

cropped-onlinedatingAbout me Journalism Student. Looking for a man who can maintain a great conversation. Once in his life a man is entitled to fall in love with a black, short haired, honest, biker, pizza lover and fun girl. If you are as good as the man you think find me. I didn’t realize I could write so much about myself. Now that my profile was out there, off I was to find that man.

The first guy was ‘K.22yrs’ – I’m shy but a professional singer in the bathroom seeking a duet partner. Two photos, one his and the other of a BMW i8. Am sure that draws in ladies but I swiped left I still don’t know why but maybe I was still learning my way around.

Next was ‘Y.26yrs’ – no about, no photos, automatic left swipe

Then came ‘J.33yrs’ – From Rwanda, in between Rwanda and Nairobi occasionally Kampala. Am straight forward and honest. Looking for fun, new experiences and we’ll see where things will go. That was intriguing and I wanted to know more about this J, on the right I went.

‘C.25yrs’ followed. – Hi! Can we discuss life? Grad student (philosophy) I lift and do yoga, running is alright. I also read a lot. Marine officer. I liked him.

“you have been super liked, keep going to see by who.” A notification read. Anticipation grew. So, I can be ‘more than liked’ I can’t wait to see by whom.

I kept swiping left and right without following all the considerations and qualifications I was checking before until I found a blue star. It was ‘I.22yrs’ – hobbyist photographer, love shooting. You are here am here let’s take the risk and know each other who knows so much can happen but first, swipe right. And I did oh not for the words mostly but because he looked good.

Following him was ‘S.25yrs’ – find out. Three photos. One of him on a a race course with a bike I presumed was his since the next was him with casual clothes but with a helmet, the main photo was with him cooking.

“Jackpot” an inner voice told me so I swiped right.

‘P.31yrs’ was next. Looking for good friends, hangouts and fun. While still looking at his photos a message came in. It was from ‘S.25yrs’.

“Is your **** free tonight? I wanna rampage it. Tie and choke you, spa… (untyped words)”

I dropped my phone in shock, disgust and horror. That sounded like a terrorist or serial killer detailing what he will do to his next victim. I really should have researched about online daters before starting my account. https://datingswarm.co.uk is a place I recommend for anyone who wants to start out.

Now I don’t have a phone and might have lost a shot at knowing my future husband 😦

P.SI.25yrs’ if you ever come across this it’s me, the girl you were entitled to fall madly in love with. I just had a bad time on my first day of knowing you and i cant remember my password since I used fake account to have to know you and am sorry for that. When you find me it will be a great story for our first date, until then quit tinder and look for me am gonna be waiting for you.

      – Kacela

Almost relationships suck

 I was just beginning to know him, we had lunch once (just junk though) and it was amazing. I felt totally connected to him, you know, ‘the chemistry’, ‘when you know you know’, ‘the sparks’ all that kinda stuff that goes on when the heart overpowers the mind but then the worst happened, out of nowhere he stopped picking up my calls, he stopped replying my messages although I could see the blue ticks (still weighing the importance of this). He just vanished into thin air. kalash, kaboom, I really don’t know the sound to describe how people you care about just disappear.

Dear ex, (oh you are an ex to me, not really an ex-boyfriend but just ex something) your departure hurt so much, it left me with so many questions. Did I eat too loudly? did I do something? is my accent horrible? did you lie about being single? do you still think about me?

I remember the first time you said you loved me, I didn’t reply right away because I had to figure out exactly where we were and when I finally revealed how I felt to you, for me you truly meant something to me and I wanted us to stay that way just to be disappointed knowing I didn’t really mean that much to you.

Funny how we had followed each other online and had synced our activities expecting to experience so much together. Now every time I see you on my timeline it hurts a little more and I know I should unfollow you already but that’s all am left to hold onto and unfollowing you will mean I completely give up on you which won’t be happening anytime soon.

My pride won’t let me text you anymore but whenever you text me I will Surely respond. 

I miss you ex-something.

                                                                                          Your almost girlfriend 

                                                                                                                      -Kacela Lopode